A Small and Odd Campaign

Mongoose is an odd word. You would imagine it would have either a weird plural or at least an interesting one. It does not. Instead, the plural is "Mongooses" which sounds like a mistake when said aloud, and looks like one when written. Mongi on the other hand, seems like a word both when heard and read, and is weird enough to do Mongoose justice. But if you think that mongi makes drastically less sense than Mongooses, surely mongeese would be better than mongooses? After all, the plural of goose is geese. So whatever your tastes, it seems mongooses is a far inferior option for a plural than mongi and mongeese. Maybe if this gets enough signatures, others will agree.

http://twitition.com/a63p8/

LEGO Reviewing Lego Zelda

Some of you may have seen the viral video by Michael Inglis, which is a stop action video containing LEGO minifigures adapted to resemble characters and monsters out of the hit Nintendo series Legend of Zelda.

Many people have said that this video has made them want a genuine LEGO Zelda set, and it looks like that could soon be a possibility.

After being sent 10,000 requests, LEGO have officially stated they are considering the idea, and if they deem it a good idea, then the products will likely be hitting the shelves.

Of course, there is one large gap they must cross before hand, and that is Nintendo approval. Very few third party Nintendo products have been made, and unless Nintendo think LEGO can bring something new to the idea, it probably won't get approval.

Of course, this isn't the first game series to get turned into a building block set. Halo, the hit series for X-Box  was turned into a Mega Blocks product, and has sold reasonably well.

It may have sold better if it wasn't Megablocks.

But unlike Zelda, Halo is an incredibly successful series in the West, while most of Zelda's fan base can be found in Japan. So even if Nintendo do give it approval, it may not even make it's way over here.

6 Extraordinary People From Unexpected Places

There are some incredibly boring jobs and hobbies out there. Some are dull. Some don't involve much. Some are just stereotypically associated with dull people. The sort of things where you cannot possibly imagine the holder doing anything that interesting. However, sometimes, once every so often, someone goes out and does something big. Such as the people below...

6. Retired Teacher Takes Her Purse Back From Theif

Tell me, does anyone know who this is?

If anyone said she is Jean Hirst, the person who is also in this photo:

You are smarter than the 15 year old who ran off with her purse. 

Now, I'm not saying the mugger made a massive mistake, they did do a few things well. When Jean Hirst had to ask a group of passing girls for the directions to the theatre, the girls offered her a lift, which Jean took. Once they arrived, one of the teens asked for 20p. The other took her bag and ran off with it.

Now, if you're a fifteen year old girl, you're probably thinking that you're pretty much in the clear now. In this particular case, the mugger was not. Despite having both a head start and a 57 year advantage, when the mugger looked back round to see what was happening she saw...

Now, in any other situation, this would not strike the fear of god into you, but in this case, the girl realised that a 72 year old woman had just outrun her and even if she did somehow escape her son the Flash would not be very happy. So, she did the same thing any one of us would do and dropped the hand bag and presumably ran off and hid.

This is actually a GIF of her running around the planet.
A few moments later the sonic boom shattered the shutter glass.

 Now, if you think ends there, you're wrong. She actually returned to the van the teenage girls had been in, and the other girls apologized, presumably worried about any other powers she may have. To cap it all off in a way that somehow makes her seem even more powerful, she then talked to them about choosing their friends more carefully, and presumably ran counter-clockwise around the planet in order to make sure she wasn't late for the theatre. 

5. Construction Worker Does Not Get Crushed By Train

If you've just read the title, you may fail to see how that makes him extraordinary. The answer is: He was under it, along with another man.

If you've ever seen Superman: The Movie, you will know that it is rife with events that still leave people ranting about the sheer implausibility and impossibility of them, and as such I would never say something similiar to them on this blog...

*Re-reads last paragraph in last item*

Never mind.

One scene involves Superman being forced to replace a damaged railway track with himself, without ruining his hair or lycra.

Why on Earth doesn't the Metropolis Police Department wear lycra?

Question Answered

Though Wesley Autery didn't quite do the same, I reckon he must wear the same clothes, as he it was either going to be that or sheer defiance that saved his life.

If you've ever seen any form of Superman media, you will know that just before he goes and does something that would leave a non-Kyrptonian in several blackened pieces, Lois Lane is placed in a situation in which she will be turned into several blackened pieces. In this case, Autery's Lois Lane takes the form of Cameron Hollopeter, who had a fit in an American Subway.

God dammit Bing, this is why nobody uses you. Go sit in the corner.

He was helped to his feet by Autrey and two other men, which would have been a rather dull ending. Since I don't think I can use the word "fortunately" concerning people having fits and trains, I shall just say that if you want to read this for longer, it is good news, because it doesn't end there. As soon as he got back on his feet, he lost control of his legs, and fell in front of a fast approaching train, still having a fit. I imagine Superman would have placed in his "I was too late" list.

Autrey though, apparently has no time for, well, time. While other people may have been a touch preoccupied with preventing themselves from dying, he didn't want his two daughters to see Hollopeter reduced to jam, and jumped in front of the train.

He jumped under the train, grabbed Hollopeter, trying to prevent him from moving, and lied there, as the train driver paniced and stopped the train, but he was too late, and two carriages passed over the two men. Everyone on the platform, including Autreys daughters, saw a train pass over the two men, with enough momentum to kill the both of them.

Apparently Hollopeter knew all this to, because he asked Autrey whether they were dead, and was told that  they were not, and they should remain still or else they would be.

You see, Hollopeter had landed in the drainage gutter, and Autrey pressed the two of them into it. 

That blasé person on the platform makes me wonder whether
Hollopeter fell or was pushed...

The train was so close that it ruined Autrey's hat, implying this was the only piece of non-lycra clothing he was wearing. 

Now... Why would that be?

After this, Autrey was showered with rewards, including a $10,000  check from Donald Trump, which he turned down because he wanted to meet him and tell him "Yo, you're fired."

I shall end this item here, because it has far too much Lycra in it.

4. Shark Loses Fight With A 60 Year Old

Most people when presented with a shark would scream, and for the first time in their life, wish Aquaman was real. When it takes two bites out of you, you would make deals with God, Allah, Satan, Thor and just about every other deity under the Asgard Sun. Paddy Trumpbell instead decided to punch it in the mouth.

Even seeing the name floating above it in a amateur column strikes
fear into it's heart.

When asked about the incident later, she said that instead of the above suggestions, she thought "This shark isn't getting the better of me." So she punched it in the face repeatedly, despite the fact it had one of her limbs in it's mouth and was pulling on it to the point of ripping, and it went away. 

When a rescue ship found her, they were appalled, due to the fact she had three chunks missing from her body, and about 40% of her blood had been lost. They saved her, and she was taken to hospital, where she started asking the doctors about implants.

They say it was silicon she wanted, we say it was this.

3. Judge Enforces The Law Personally

When you hear someone is a judge, you tend to think of a slightly portly old man sitting in a small square, with cobwebs on their armpits. This was what Paul Reid, a British man charged with sexual assualt relied on. He noticed his hand cuffs were a little loose, and waited until the hearing was over and people began to leave.

It was then he ditched his hand cuffs, jumped over the clerks bench, and ran towards freedom. He would have made it too, but when he looked round he saw...

That's the second time I've done this in this article,
and they both contain smiling old British people.

Judge Douglas Marks Moore grabbed Paul Reid by the throat, presumably proceeding to pick him up and throw him across the room. However, Reid was undettered, and probably motivated by fear just as much as freedom ran out of the court room, only to look back and see...

"Alright, now it's getting boring."

That's right. The 60 year old man chased him down the corridor and proceeded to rugby tackle him. Apparently the person who taught his lectures at University was Professor. Dredd. It was then Reid finally gave up, and let the security guards who arrived later take him away. 

I'm not the Judge Woolwich deserves, I'm the hero Woolwich needs.

2. Window Cleaner Kills Suicide

East Sussex: Home to holiday destinations, coastal towns and suicide hot spots alike. Beachy head, the cliffs facing the coast from East Sussex have on average 20 deaths a year, and if that figure had just been 19 in 2004, it would likely be more.

Why?

Because that year, Maggie Lane was pronounced dead at the bottom of the cliffs, after having presumably jumped. Her husband, Keith Lane, was obviously distraught. Most people would silently attend the funeral and be sad. Keith turned into a super hero.

He was completely untrained, but he went out to prevent suicides. How? Mostly by rugby tackling them.

"You have learnt well, my son. Have you ever considered a career
in law?"

He also found a woman 15 feet down the cliff edge, climbed down to retrieve her, pulled her up, and was heavily criticised by the local suicide prevention organisation, the BHCT, who apparently hadn't bothered to  look up the word "prevention".

They say that Lane's rogue rescues endanger the lives of people trying to kill themselves, which they obviously have never put down on paper. However, Lane has reduced the number of patrols, due to "disliking the confrontations". And he is busying managing his and Douglas Moore's rugby team.

1. Journalist Brings Terror Cell Down While Looking For A Story

You may notice how most of the people in here have ordinary backgrounds. Antinio Salas does not. He was a journalist who whizzed around filming human traffickers and guerilla warfare teams without their consent. He then got bored, heard about a terrorist attack in Madrid that killed 191 people, and thought "I know what I'm going to do today."

You're probably thinking he teamed up with the police to bring it down. He did not. He instead faked converting to the other side, and joined the terrorists.

It took him five years to get in.

He did everything he needed to, learned Arabic, converted to Islam, wrote out the Quaran by hand and wrote books in support of the Jihad, and got them published. After years of work, he got close to Carlos the Jackal, the most feared terrorist in the world up until Osama Bin Laden.

"It's like you took my heart and ripped it out. I thought
I was always going to be your favourite terrorist?"

He got a job as his webmaster, which meant that he had to visit a new country daily, making sure no one knew where he was, just to update a blog. I wonder if he has a vacancy...

He was trained, so he if he wanted to, he could be a real terrorist, and commit major atrocities. This meant that as well as being in danger of being killed by the terrorist cell if they found out his true identity, the worlds intelligence agencies would also kill him without a thought. There were people looking for him, intent on capturing him and torturing him for information. 

Fortunately for Salas, they did not. Instead, he published his own book, under his real name, and offered insights into real terrorism, no doubt helping intelligence agencies across the world.

Now, I don't know about you, but I think he got a pretty good story.

Are Nintendo Making Super Mario Bros 4?

Earlier this year, Nintendo announced they are working on a 2D Mario Platformer for 3DS. While New Super Mario Bros DS and Wii were done in the style of the original trilogy, it appears the 3DS version will be going even further, because Nintendo have registered the domain name "Super Mario 4". Nintendo wouldn't be the first company to do something like this, with Sega creating Sonic 4, and Nintendo has used Sega ideas before (and vice versa) so it seems that it is possible. With E3 coming up in June, it is likely we'll find out all the answers then, along with many of the details about the Wii U.

Nintendo Runs 3DS Photo Contest

Good news British Nintendo 3DS owners and amateur photographers, Nintendo are running a competition where you can put your favourite snaps against the rest of the world. They've teamed up with the National Geographic Kids and the Royal Photographic Society, with the grand prize being a trip for four to Paris (In France, which is bad news for all Texas enthusiasts).

The competition runs until 17th June, and gives you six categories to choose from, Animals, Augmented Reality, Objects, People, Places and Plants, and you merely choose which one, name your photo, and voila! You're in with a chance.

Of course, the photo must be 3D, and have been taken with a 3DS. In order to enter, go to http://3d-photo-contest.nintendonetwork.net/contest/en/.

If you've looked at the URL, you will see that this is part of the upcoming Nintendo Network, which can only be a good sign.

Torchwood May Return

Any keen sci-fi fans out there will probably be familiar with Torchwood, the less family friendly spin off from Doctor Who, written by Russel T. Davies. It's basically part X-Files, part A-Team, and part Micheal Bay film. The series has had 4 runs now, and it's been suggested that a fifth may be yet to come.

The last series, which was basically a 10 part long episode, covering what would happen if everybody stopped dieing due to a crack in the Earth developing an addiction to the immortal stars blood.

Yes, this really was the climax.

The thing that made this series different from the others, apart from the whole blood crack thing, was that it was a British/American collaboration, with Starz working alongside the BBC.

Starz's Chris Albrecht has said that Torchwood is "not one of the shows we went into thinking about an annual return", with head writer and former head writer of Doctor Who being unable to write due to a busy schedule.

But now Chris Albrecht has told Multichannel News that if Davies' schedule clears, then maybe another series could be put into production. Davies schedule has been busy at the moment mostly due to his partner Andrew Smith being diagnosed with Brain Cancer, and has began a small product for the CBBC, which will be Aliens Vs. Wizards, hinting that he may be returning to work soon.

John Barrowman and Eve Myles, who play Captain Jack Harkness and Gwen Cooper respectively, have previously stated interest in returning, the only problem is, if it does return, are either of them going to make it to the end? Torchwood hasn't exactly got a track record for long running characters...

Game Over

Many of you are no doubt familiar with the Game family, one of the most popular game retailers. Many of you no doubt received gift cards for Christmas that you're saving for one of the upcoming big releases of 2012. And many of you have no doubt heard rumours of GAME's upcoming demise. These rumours have been circulating for years, brought on by retailers like Steam and Amazon. And it looks like there is now some accuracy in them.

Stock is the easiest way to measure how well a business is doing, even if error can be created by panicking investors. To give us an idea, let's look at some other game suppliers stock...

The below graphs, courtesy of Google Finance, compare the Game Group (GMG) and Amazon (AMZN). And as you can see...

Amazon (AMZN)

Game Group (GMG)

Oh dear. Back in 2008, buying stock from Game would set you back £296.75, now it's just £2.38. That means that you can now buy more of Game than you can buy games.

And it gets worse. The stock keeps on falling. That means Game is going to be worth less and less.

Apparently we're not the only one's to notice this. Major suppliers have stopped supplying Game, which does nothing for their poor sales. Too widely different games, Mass Effect 3 and Mario Party 9 were notably unavailable in both Game and Gamestation, which made their demise a lot more credible. It seems this is only going to get worse, with more and more suppliers backing out.

We are heading for one of three scenarios:

1. GameStop, or another big game company buys out Game.
2. Game goes into administration, and someone tries to salvage what they can, preserving some jobs.
3. Game dies out altogether.

Personally, I would rather see none of these, and hope that Game pulls through against all the odds. But the only advice I can give you is that now is the time to cash in those Gift Cards.

Diablo III Release Date Announced

Today, all airplanes in the world have been grounded to avoid a preeminent threat, that has the potential to kill millions. Flying pigs.

Abort! Abort! For the love of god, abort!

While many have been bracing themselves, and contemplating how to return to their home countries without taking to the skies or being air-strifed by the swine menace, PC Gamers have been announcing that they will need a holiday starting May 15th.

Employers have been too busy calling double glazing specialists to protect some of the higher buildings in the swine infested areas to try and figure out just what is so special about this date, but the gamers among us can take a fare guess. For May 15th is the day Diablo III will be released, according to publishers Blizzard.

Don't believe me? Check here and remember that I now hate you.

The game will first come out in the United States, Canada, Europe, South Korea, Southeast Asia, Australia, New Zealand, Taiwan, Hong Kong and Macau, with digital copies being released in Mexico, Argentina, Chile and Brazil, with any South American countries that haven't already been mentioned having to wait until the June 7th.

The game will be available on Windows XP, Vista, 7 and Mac, and presumably a more deluxe version will be available for those hardcore fans.

So, if you're a fan of the first two Diablo's, get your pre-orders in now, and stay out of the air. You don't want any pigs coming between you and your game.

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Who Won the Motion Gaming War?

Cast your brain back to 2005. It's a golden year where Doctor Who makes a triumphant return to British television, Youtube grants aspiring young film makers publish their works to the whole world, and Justin Bieber only sings in front of his family at gatherings. Words cannot express my pity for them enough. 2005 was also the year the Nintendo Wii was unveiled at the Tokyo Game Show (and not E3 as so many people believe). The new motion controller caused split opinion. Some saw it as the future of gaming, others claimed that it spelled disaster for Nintendo, and that it was a gimmick that would soon die out. In fact, Sony continued this belief, despite how they created the Playstation Move, something which can only be described as Sony's Wii. In fact, back in 2010, Sony's head of marketing, Peter Dille, said this:

“Hard-core gamers have looked down their nose at motion gaming: it’s not particularly satisfying for them because it’s not terribly precise or challenging, it’s more social.”

For a company, you can't really insult someone anymore than that. Or at least you would think that, until Reggie Fills-Aimes said this:

“If imitation is the most sincere form of flattery then I’m blushing I’m so flattered.” 

“You know, I didn’t see the announcement. I did spend some time at the booth and saw some of what they were demonstrating and I think the question isn’t how will we react — I think the question is, so what is it that’s going to be compelling to the consumer in what they’re doing? 

“From our standpoint, motion control is core to what we do. We believe that we’ve brought a range of different experiences that utilize the motion controller and we pride ourselves on being innovators in the space and we’re going to continue to innovate. I think the key question is, how will they respond when we continue to innovate if this is their best effort?”

Sony were too busy consoling Peter Dille to respond until 2012, but it appears someone managed to stick a pin in the over inflated ego of Sony, because they ended up saying this:

“What I’m thinking is that it’s better suited towards the casual market, certainly, but we also are pretty clear that we could have done a better job on the titles we’ve had and we’ve brought to market for the PlayStation Move. As you’ve said, great tech, probably not so great applications so far. So there’s a job for us to do on the strength of games, and having seen what’s forthcoming gives me great hope that we can do a better job with Move as we look forward. So we’re certainly not forgetting about it.”
While the Nintendo fans gloated, others wondered this:

"Hang on... Sony are saying Playstation Move failed... There are barely any X-Box Kinect games... And what of the Wii? The Wii U works on the same basic principle, and it's one of the worlds best selling consoles. Are Nintendo winning?"

 Now, where other people would turn to sales, or just look into the infinite abyss that is the human soul, the Realm chooses to compare it via a competition. So... May the great comparison begin!

Nintendo Wii


We start off with the console that was first off the line. Back then, gaming was something associated with spotty unemployed single people who played in a dark room. Nintendo set out to attract couples, pensioners, toddlers, you name it, they wanted it. Which makes them sound a bit like a villain from Doctor Who. Now, what did they do to get this?


Ah. Pretty impressive. Games designed to be games that weren't the stereotypical game, to draw in women who weren't gamers, games with simple mechanics to draw in people who saw games as too complex, and games that were easy to control but appealed to gamers. I would say that achieved the aim pretty well, especially when you look at sales.

Hang on, what's that? The Wii alienates gamers?



Not bad either.

Then there's the name. You've got to lose some points on that. I'm sure when Iwata stood up and said "You know this new console? I think we should call it the Wii!", no one released what it would mean in English. But then again, it's memorable. So I'll leave that one out to the jury.

However, the Wii U goes to say something. When it was unveiled, one of the things they boasted about was how it had improved processing power, and HD graphics. This shows that they've finally acknowledged the elephant in Nintendo Conference Room 2A, and admitted that this:

Isn't much when compared to this:

I know the Nintendo example is an extreme case, and I know that the second example (from the Playstation 3) wasn't a motion control game. But look at this, a screenshot from the Zelda HD tech demo:

Much better. And this too will be using motion controls. So why couldn't they do it with the Wii? They've cost themselves some points there.

Score: 8/10

Playstation Move


I'm going to start this off with something that many of you no doubt have already guessed: I hate the Playstation Move. It's one of those blatant clones that actually comes off worse than the original. I mean, look at it!

It looks like a CD Player Remote that someone stuck a bouncy ball to. And it was made by people who insulted the whole Motion Gaming idea, and then claimed it was the best thing to hit the market after they brought out their own one. I could spend a whole article moaning about how much I hate the Playstation Move. But I won't. For I need to see how well it meets it's audience.

Let's look at the casual games:

Seriously? A dance game, a fitness game, and a movie game? And a little bit of research told me that the fitness game is one of those games that relies entirely on the player not eating. Alright, maybe the hardcore games might be better...

I have to say, there's this, a few shooters who wouldn't show me their box art, and that's about it.

Now, down to graphics. Here's a screenshot from Little Big Planet 2:

Pretty good. Got to give them credit for that. Graphics in a video game are the icing on the cake, and this is butter icing. Which I like. But they've lost out on the lack of originality, and available games, so I'm expecting some hatred from Sony fans once they see the rating I gave it.

Score: 4/10

X-Box Kinect

Some of you are no doubt thinking "Hang on, this guy does a lot of Nintendo stories, and has admitted to hating the Playstation Move. Surely he must hate X-Box Kinect as well!" I have to say, you're mostly wrong. While Move was a blatant rip off, with a tumorous appearance, Kinect tried to move in a different direction. Instead of using motion controls, it made you the controller. And I love me. 

Even if it does resemble something that Big Brother would put in your room to make sure you weren't stirring up a rebellion (and I mean the 1984 Big Brother, not the Channel 4 show that takes chavs and locks them up, only to release them back on the world at the end of the series. Stupid animal rights protesters.) But it used original controls. Innovation is the only way to move forward, and there is a fair amount of innovation in here.

Of course, there are quite a few errors in here. For example, some people may have seen this video:

All looks pretty good, doesn't it? Or at least it does up until you release you'll be playing the whole thing while resembling a Yoga program on fast forward. Which you know, doesn't convey the whole "Fearless Warrior of the stars" thing very well. And it get's worse...

That's right. They've turned one of the greatest stories ever told, into a Just Dance clone. And not the laser baring soldier kind. In fact, they've dragged those down with them, and turned them into dancers. In fact, they even have parts of the plot involved in dancing, with Leia having to dance for her life while Jabba watches, creepily looking past the semi-naked princess and looking at the player instead.

Of course, one of the most important things about a game is the controls. Which most Kinect games only have half off. Remember those Jedi fights in the above video? You don't move. Sometimes you'll work on the rails, sometimes your avatar will just stand there and wait for the enemy to run into you. I know.

I won't even mention the "racist Kinect" argument, but while the Kinect was a massive innovation, it didn't pay off. It's the perfect console for Dance Games, Fitness Games, and some sports games, but after that, it runs out, and you would be better off fiddling with a lump of molded plastic.

Score: 6/10

Well, it looks like the decision's in. The Nintendo Wii emerges victorious, in the area it started. However, I must admit that as an online console it fails, and that crown rests on the head of the X-Box, thanks to X-Box Live. Motion Gaming could prove to be very great. But if Sony and Microsoft have any sense, they'll stay out of it, and stick to what they do best.

Are Valve Moving Into The Console Market?

Once again, the rumour mills of the great Internet have been working hard again. This time, it's rumours of a console produced by Valve, the creators of games such as Portal and Team Fortress. Unlike most other rumours though, this one's got a fair bit of weight to it. For starters, Valve have actually taken out a patent, which describes the device as having multiple controller types. The first socket, interestingly enough, is for a "track ball", which could answer the whole mouse/analog stick debate that divides the gamer community into PC fans and console fans.

The patent was taken out by Valve employees Mike Ambinder, Steven Bond and Scott Dalton, and based on the submission date, has been in production for a few years.

Further evidence comes from the loose lips of Greg Coomer, who has possibly been posting images of the console via Twitter. His first tweet read: "Built this tiny PC. i7 quad core, 8GB ram, Zotac Z-68 mobo w/ onnboard Nvidia mobile gfx. Runs Portal 2 FAST."

But, typical of loose lipped people, this wasn't the only thing he leaked. More news soon arrived, as seen below.

Click Here To Go To The Link Shown

Of course, neither of these things prove nothing. Many a company has taken out a patent, never to use it, just to insure that no one else steals it and it turns out to be a roaring success, and Greg Coomer's invention could simply be a device he made for fun. There are people like that, you know.

But what if Valve were to move into the market? It could certainly prove bad for PC gaming, with the chances are that they will stop making games for anything that isn't their own. Steam would likely move to it. But would it sell? With a giant fan base, the obvious answer is yes. And if it were to look like a companion cube...

They could make it out of wood, and build in a three day self-destruct sequence,
and it would still sell by the millions.

Raspberry Pi Causes Internet Phenomenon

If you think you're getting a delicious fruit flavoured pastry based desert, and instead get what appears to be an ordinary circuit board, you would be understandably unhappy. Of course, once you stop chewing it to see if it provides a similar supplement, your mood would increase due to the fact that Raspberry Pi is responsible for a phenomenon. And a bucket load of dessert based puns.

The difference an "E" can make.

What was originally planned to be sold as a cheap and simple educational tool is now being heralded of a device capable of making the next Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates. In fact, it's so popular that the website has crashed, and been forced become a low HTML static version of itself. Meaning that the next generations technological heroes could start off with that.

Of course, the fact that it comes with only a £22 price tag is no doubt helping the sales. The reason behind it's cheapness is that unlike other famous technological devices, is that Robert Mullins, co-founder of the Cambridge based company responsible for the Raspberry Pi wished to educate students on how to program, seeing the current education system as not effective enough.

The device comes with various ports, so it can run with keyboards, television screens, and audio jacks. It contains a rather impressive 256MB of RAM, and runs off Linux, making it compatible with Windows, Apple, and Google devices. Once a keyboard and screen have been attached, it's capable of writing programs usable on any computer, and even has internet access via an Ethernet port.

The technophiles among you are no doubt foaming at the mouth right now.

New Zelda Game And New MGS On The Way

As many of you no doubt know, the Playstation Vita, a device capable of providing games equal to those on the major home platforms, launched today. But if you want news on that, either Google it, or visit your local HMV, Game, or anywhere else with a large sign saying "PS Vita Available Inside". Though not if it's a white van. Stay clear of those. Anyway, the reason you will have to look else where for news is because today's article is for something that interests me much more. A new game has been announced, and two more have been hinted at. Read on to find out just what they are, and what's going on with them.

1. New Legend of Zelda

Come on. This was inevitable. There have been rumours, and even a playful hint from Miyamato himself. The cheeky devil. But now Eiji Aonuma has joined in the fun, sending this message to his 3DS Letterbox chums:

Now, anyone who was paying attention at E3 will know that Zelda Wii U is in the works, but is a Zelda for 3DS coming? After all, Ocarina of Time 3D sold well enough. I have to agree with the wizard and the fairy as usual, and hope that we will soon be seeing a brand new Zelda adventure on the portable console. Also, I want that stationary. It is my sole aim in life for the next week or so. Until then...

Metal Gear Solid 5

Another exciting piece of news that has been cheekily thrown to us then torn apart like a piece of meat to starved dogs. And you think I'm exaggerating. This time, the report has come from Konami, who has been looking for "project engineers for the latest Metal Gear Solid targeted for high-end consoles and PC" and "engineers to help develop next-gen game engine technology for use with the "FOX Engine". Which all sounds very good. Even better, it's possible this is the Project Ogre which has been driving the internet dogs fighting over tit bits of rumour, and has been said to be a one hundred hour open worlder they have been promising. It may also be where this fascinating screenshot came from:



Oh the possibilities. Of course, one has to wonder whether this news coming out now has anything to do with a certain console coming out. Or whether what is arguably the best Metal Gear Solid game that is being ported to 3DS will sell well enough to warrant a 3D appearance, for the Nintendo fans starved of shots of nurses in a desert. For the Nintendo fans who cannot wait for this or Snake Eater, the demo is currently available in the eShop, though it does take up quite a few blocks.

Brain Training 3DS

Finally, the game which has been confirmed. Dr. Kawashima's brain booster also boosted DS sales, with casual gamers drawn to it, like critics to my increasingly bad metaphors, and well meaning nans buying it for their grand children, who actually quite enjoyed it after they got past the super fun "100 Math Questions" game. Apparently it's success was enough to warrant a sequal, in which the already creepy floating head of the good doc himself occasionally turns into a floating demonic head.



Nightmare fuel. No other way to describe it. Apparently this one will be tougher than it's predecessors, that spread across all the platforms, and will include the new game "Oni-tore" which is where the demonic head comes in. No idea what that it will involve then. Just that it shouldn't be played at night.

BAFTA Game of the Year Awards

Last year, we saw some great games. Established franchises spawned sequels that blew us away. Games that had never been seen before appeared and had the same affect. Everybody had one game they enjoyed. Now, you can vote for your for your favourite. Don't worry, I'm not holding a poll, BAFTA are taking care of that. Only head over to this site to vote for your favourite. Family Games, Action Games, FPS Games and RPGs are all on the menu. Zeus himself could find something in the nominations. Even he does mostly go for the Rockband and the Sims. Lastly, you may be wondering what I voted for. Don't, I'm sure there's something that says I'm not allowed to affect your opinion, though hopefully you've figured it out by now. After all, the smart among you should be able to figure it out from this.

The Real Life Hustle

As fans of the BBC's reverse crime show will know, Hustle ends on the 17/02/2012. However, what they probably didn't know was that through all the drama, there's actually a lot of tips in there. Combined with hustle tips from various other sources, here is the Realm's guide to The Real Life Hustle.

1. Magic Is Just A Legal Trick

We've all seen one of those cheesy magic shows, and been slightly impressed by the man in the bad suit. The reason we're impressed is because we don't know how they do it, but the majority of the time it's deceptively simple. All they do is distract you while they pull it off. Take the magic hat. They put a normal object into the hat, turn to the audience, boast a bit, shake a wand about, and voila. It's disappeared.  

The trick lies in the wand, while they're talking they fiddle around behind their back, getting ready to make the switch, and then while they're waving about, they put it in their pocket, or where ever else they plan to produce it from later. The same works for other tricks. All you need to do is distract them, a wave of the hand, an interesting anecdote, even "accidently" dropping something. Just as long as their attention is taken away from what you're really doing. This even works on a larger scale, if they're looking in the wrong place, they won't see what you're really doing.

2. Know Your Mark, But Don't Let Your Mark Know You.

There's a common misconception about trying to trick someone: It's always easier with friends. That's wrong. It is easier to con someone you know well, but the thing is, they know you just as well. Hence why most con men operate on the streets, where strangers walk past every minute. However, with large scale cons, you need to know your mark. The trick is to either do research on your mark, though if they're not well know, this is hard. It's easier to target a certain demographic, so you can understand their mind set better. Of course, you've got to make sure you vary it a bit, other wise you start to become nefarious and people become more suspicious.

3. Know Your Limit

If you've been performing small card tricks against your friends and family, don't try to con your enemy out of £50 with a large, intricate con. All that will happen is you will make a mistake, they will figure it out, and they will not be happy. Move up the ladder slowly, that way you avoid taking a fall.

4. There Is No Such Thing As A Failed Hustle

All right, not entirely true. But 9 times out of 10, any Hustle can be salvaged. If you feel it collapsing, get out while you still can, but wait until you already have something. Even if it's right at the end, a minor hustle can be saved just through the British sense of fair play. For some reason, if someone catches you in the act, if you pay up, they will stop being suspicious. So, if you've just made a money transaction, make sure it's in the lowest form of change possible. After all, one £10 note is easier to count then one hundred 10p coins.

Is mark really going to stay around the count all this?

5. They Have To Think They Are Winning

In any hustle, right up to the end, the mark has to think they're winning. This can be done multiple ways, such as making a bet where they seem most probable to win, making a deal where they seem to be making all the demands, or, and this is the most common one, letting them win before. The trick is to influence their mind. To make them think the odds are in their favour, place it around something they will know well (e.g. In a bar, placing a bet that the circumference of a pint glass is a foot, when you're a relatively new visitor to the bar.). With the decision making, make your demands over the top, and slowly come down when they refuse. As for letting them win, you've got to be careful. If they think you're losing too much, they'll wonder why you were so willing to make a bet, and will grow bored. However, if it's too close a match, they'll know they may lose, and will be less willing to make a big bet.