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It also means you're one of the lucky few who are G.A.P. Geek and Proud that is. Here, you will be able to indulge your nerdy self, reading articles on all the things "the popular people" don't want to talk about, watching my picks of the week, and having something else to do apart from sit on the computer ignoring pokes.
Any keen sci-fi fans out there will probably be familiar with Torchwood, the less family friendly spin off from Doctor Who, written by Russel T. Davies. It's basically part X-Files, part A-Team, and part Micheal Bay film. The series has had 4 runs now, and it's been suggested that a fifth may be yet to come.
The last series, which was basically a 10 part long episode, covering what would happen if everybody stopped dieing due to a crack in the Earth developing an addiction to the immortal stars blood.
Yes, this really was the climax.
The thing that made this series different from the others, apart from the whole blood crack thing, was that it was a British/American collaboration, with Starz working alongside the BBC.
Starz's Chris Albrecht has said that Torchwood is "not one of the shows we went into thinking about an annual return", with head writer and former head writer of Doctor Who being unable to write due to a busy schedule.
But now Chris Albrecht has told Multichannel News that if Davies' schedule clears, then maybe another series could be put into production. Davies schedule has been busy at the moment mostly due to his partner Andrew Smith being diagnosed with Brain Cancer, and has began a small product for the CBBC, which will be Aliens Vs. Wizards, hinting that he may be returning to work soon.
John Barrowman and Eve Myles, who play Captain Jack Harkness and Gwen Cooper respectively, have previously stated interest in returning, the only problem is, if it does return, are either of them going to make it to the end? Torchwood hasn't exactly got a track record for long running characters...
Many of you are no doubt familiar with the Game family, one of the most popular game retailers. Many of you no doubt received gift cards for Christmas that you're saving for one of the upcoming big releases of 2012. And many of you have no doubt heard rumours of GAME's upcoming demise. These rumours have been circulating for years, brought on by retailers like Steam and Amazon. And it looks like there is now some accuracy in them.
Stock is the easiest way to measure how well a business is doing, even if error can be created by panicking investors. To give us an idea, let's look at some other game suppliers stock...
The below graphs, courtesy of Google Finance, compare the Game Group (GMG) and Amazon (AMZN). And as you can see...
Amazon (AMZN)
Game Group (GMG)
Oh dear. Back in 2008, buying stock from Game would set you back £296.75, now it's just £2.38. That means that you can now buy more of Game than you can buy games.
And it gets worse. The stock keeps on falling. That means Game is going to be worth less and less.
Apparently we're not the only one's to notice this. Major suppliers have stopped supplying Game, which does nothing for their poor sales. Too widely different games, Mass Effect 3 and Mario Party 9 were notably unavailable in both Game and Gamestation, which made their demise a lot more credible. It seems this is only going to get worse, with more and more suppliers backing out.
We are heading for one of three scenarios:
GameStop, or another big game company buys out Game.
Game goes into administration, and someone tries to salvage what they can, preserving some jobs.
Game dies out altogether.
Personally, I would rather see none of these, and hope that Game pulls through against all the odds. But the only advice I can give you is that now is the time to cash in those Gift Cards.
Today, all airplanes in the world have been grounded to avoid a preeminent threat, that has the potential to kill millions. Flying pigs.
Abort! Abort! For the love of god, abort!
While many have been bracing themselves, and contemplating how to return to their home countries without taking to the skies or being air-strifed by the swine menace, PC Gamers have been announcing that they will need a holiday starting May 15th.
Employers have been too busy calling double glazing specialists to protect some of the higher buildings in the swine infested areas to try and figure out just what is so special about this date, but the gamers among us can take a fare guess. For May 15th is the day Diablo III will be released, according to publishers Blizzard.
Don't believe me? Check here and remember that I now hate you.
The game will first come out in the United States, Canada, Europe, South Korea, Southeast Asia, Australia, New Zealand, Taiwan, Hong Kong and Macau, with digital copies being released in Mexico, Argentina, Chile and Brazil, with any South American countries that haven't already been mentioned having to wait until the June 7th.
The game will be available on Windows XP, Vista, 7 and Mac, and presumably a more deluxe version will be available for those hardcore fans.
So, if you're a fan of the first two Diablo's, get your pre-orders in now, and stay out of the air. You don't want any pigs coming between you and your game.
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Cast your brain back to 2005. It's a golden year where Doctor Who makes a triumphant return to British television, Youtube grants aspiring young film makers publish their works to the whole world, and Justin Bieber only sings in front of his family at gatherings. Words cannot express my pity for them enough. 2005 was also the year the Nintendo Wii was unveiled at the Tokyo Game Show (and not E3 as so many people believe). The new motion controller caused split opinion. Some saw it as the future of gaming, others claimed that it spelled disaster for Nintendo, and that it was a gimmick that would soon die out. In fact, Sony continued this belief, despite how they created the Playstation Move, something which can only be described as Sony's Wii. In fact, back in 2010, Sony's head of marketing, Peter Dille, said this:
“Hard-core gamers have looked down their nose at motion gaming: it’s not particularly satisfying for them because it’s not terribly precise or challenging, it’s more social.”
For a company, you can't really insult someone anymore than that. Or at least you would think that, until Reggie Fills-Aimes said this:
“If imitation is the most sincere form of flattery then I’m blushing I’m so flattered.”
“You know, I didn’t see the announcement. I did spend some time at the booth and saw some of what they were demonstrating and I think the question isn’t how will we react — I think the question is, so what is it that’s going to be compelling to the consumer in what they’re doing?
“From our standpoint, motion control is core to what we do. We believe that we’ve brought a range of different experiences that utilize the motion controller and we pride ourselves on being innovators in the space and we’re going to continue to innovate. I think the key question is, how will they respond when we continue to innovate if this is their best effort?”
Sony were too busy consoling Peter Dille to respond until 2012, but it appears someone managed to stick a pin in the over inflated ego of Sony, because they ended up saying this:
“What I’m thinking is that it’s better suited towards the casual market, certainly, but we also are pretty clear that we could have done a better job on the titles we’ve had and we’ve brought to market for the PlayStation Move. As you’ve said, great tech, probably not so great applications so far. So there’s a job for us to do on the strength of games, and having seen what’s forthcoming gives me great hope that we can do a better job with Move as we look forward. So we’re certainly not forgetting about it.”
While the Nintendo fans gloated, others wondered this:
"Hang on... Sony are saying Playstation Move failed... There are barely any X-Box Kinect games... And what of the Wii? The Wii U works on the same basic principle, and it's one of the worlds best selling consoles. Are Nintendo winning?"
Now, where other people would turn to sales, or just look into the infinite abyss that is the human soul, the Realm chooses to compare it via a competition. So... May the great comparison begin!
Nintendo Wii
We start off with the console that was first off the line. Back then, gaming was something associated with spotty unemployed single people who played in a dark room. Nintendo set out to attract couples, pensioners, toddlers, you name it, they wanted it. Which makes them sound a bit like a villain from Doctor Who. Now, what did they do to get this?
Ah. Pretty impressive. Games designed to be games that weren't the stereotypical game, to draw in women who weren't gamers, games with simple mechanics to draw in people who saw games as too complex, and games that were easy to control but appealed to gamers. I would say that achieved the aim pretty well, especially when you look at sales.
Hang on, what's that? The Wii alienates gamers?
Not bad either.
Then there's the name. You've got to lose some points on that. I'm sure when Iwata stood up and said "You know this new console? I think we should call it the Wii!", no one released what it would mean in English. But then again, it's memorable. So I'll leave that one out to the jury.
However, the Wii U goes to say something. When it was unveiled, one of the things they boasted about was how it had improved processing power, and HD graphics. This shows that they've finally acknowledged the elephant in Nintendo Conference Room 2A, and admitted that this:
Isn't much when compared to this:
I know the Nintendo example is an extreme case, and I know that the second example (from the Playstation 3) wasn't a motion control game. But look at this, a screenshot from the Zelda HD tech demo:
Much better. And this too will be using motion controls. So why couldn't they do it with the Wii? They've cost themselves some points there.
Score: 8/10
Playstation Move
I'm going to start this off with something that many of you no doubt have already guessed: I hate the Playstation Move. It's one of those blatant clones that actually comes off worse than the original. I mean, look at it!
It looks like a CD Player Remote that someone stuck a bouncy ball to. And it was made by people who insulted the whole Motion Gaming idea, and then claimed it was the best thing to hit the market after they brought out their own one. I could spend a whole article moaning about how much I hate the Playstation Move. But I won't. For I need to see how well it meets it's audience.
Let's look at the casual games:
Seriously? A dance game, a fitness game, and a movie game? And a little bit of research told me that the fitness game is one of those games that relies entirely on the player not eating. Alright, maybe the hardcore games might be better...
I have to say, there's this, a few shooters who wouldn't show me their box art, and that's about it.
Now, down to graphics. Here's a screenshot from Little Big Planet 2:
Pretty good. Got to give them credit for that. Graphics in a video game are the icing on the cake, and this is butter icing. Which I like. But they've lost out on the lack of originality, and available games, so I'm expecting some hatred from Sony fans once they see the rating I gave it.
Score: 4/10
X-Box Kinect
Some of you are no doubt thinking "Hang on, this guy does a lot of Nintendo stories, and has admitted to hating the Playstation Move. Surely he must hate X-Box Kinect as well!" I have to say, you're mostly wrong. While Move was a blatant rip off, with a tumorous appearance, Kinect tried to move in a different direction. Instead of using motion controls, it made you the controller. And I love me.
Even if it does resemble something that Big Brother would put in your room to make sure you weren't stirring up a rebellion (and I mean the 1984 Big Brother, not the Channel 4 show that takes chavs and locks them up, only to release them back on the world at the end of the series. Stupid animal rights protesters.) But it used original controls. Innovation is the only way to move forward, and there is a fair amount of innovation in here.
Of course, there are quite a few errors in here. For example, some people may have seen this video:
All looks pretty good, doesn't it? Or at least it does up until you release you'll be playing the whole thing while resembling a Yoga program on fast forward. Which you know, doesn't convey the whole "Fearless Warrior of the stars" thing very well. And it get's worse...
That's right. They've turned one of the greatest stories ever told, into a Just Dance clone. And not the laser baring soldier kind. In fact, they've dragged those down with them, and turned them into dancers. In fact, they even have parts of the plot involved in dancing, with Leia having to dance for her life while Jabba watches, creepily looking past the semi-naked princess and looking at the player instead.
Of course, one of the most important things about a game is the controls. Which most Kinect games only have half off. Remember those Jedi fights in the above video? You don't move. Sometimes you'll work on the rails, sometimes your avatar will just stand there and wait for the enemy to run into you. I know.
I won't even mention the "racist Kinect" argument, but while the Kinect was a massive innovation, it didn't pay off. It's the perfect console for Dance Games, Fitness Games, and some sports games, but after that, it runs out, and you would be better off fiddling with a lump of molded plastic.
Score: 6/10
Well, it looks like the decision's in. The Nintendo Wii emerges victorious, in the area it started. However, I must admit that as an online console it fails, and that crown rests on the head of the X-Box, thanks to X-Box Live. Motion Gaming could prove to be very great. But if Sony and Microsoft have any sense, they'll stay out of it, and stick to what they do best.
Once again, the rumour mills of the great Internet have been working hard again. This time, it's rumours of a console produced by Valve, the creators of games such as Portal and Team Fortress. Unlike most other rumours though, this one's got a fair bit of weight to it. For starters, Valve have actually taken out a patent, which describes the device as having multiple controller types. The first socket, interestingly enough, is for a "track ball", which could answer the whole mouse/analog stick debate that divides the gamer community into PC fans and console fans.
The patent was taken out by Valve employees Mike Ambinder, Steven Bond and Scott Dalton, and based on the submission date, has been in production for a few years.
Further evidence comes from the loose lips of Greg Coomer, who has possibly been posting images of the console via Twitter. His first tweet read: "Built this tiny PC. i7 quad core, 8GB ram, Zotac Z-68 mobo w/ onnboard Nvidia mobile gfx. Runs Portal 2 FAST."
But, typical of loose lipped people, this wasn't the only thing he leaked. More news soon arrived, as seen below.
Of course, neither of these things prove nothing. Many a company has taken out a patent, never to use it, just to insure that no one else steals it and it turns out to be a roaring success, and Greg Coomer's invention could simply be a device he made for fun. There are people like that, you know.
But what if Valve were to move into the market? It could certainly prove bad for PC gaming, with the chances are that they will stop making games for anything that isn't their own. Steam would likely move to it. But would it sell? With a giant fan base, the obvious answer is yes. And if it were to look like a companion cube...
They could make it out of wood, and build in a three day self-destruct sequence,
and it would still sell by the millions.
If you think you're getting a delicious fruit flavoured pastry based desert, and instead get what appears to be an ordinary circuit board, you would be understandably unhappy. Of course, once you stop chewing it to see if it provides a similar supplement, your mood would increase due to the fact that Raspberry Pi is responsible for a phenomenon. And a bucket load of dessert based puns.
The difference an "E" can make.
What was originally planned to be sold as a cheap and simple educational tool is now being heralded of a device capable of making the next Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates. In fact, it's so popular that the website has crashed, and been forced become a low HTML static version of itself. Meaning that the next generations technological heroes could start off with that.
Of course, the fact that it comes with only a £22 price tag is no doubt helping the sales. The reason behind it's cheapness is that unlike other famous technological devices, is that Robert Mullins, co-founder of the Cambridge based company responsible for the Raspberry Pi wished to educate students on how to program, seeing the current education system as not effective enough.
The device comes with various ports, so it can run with keyboards, television screens, and audio jacks. It contains a rather impressive 256MB of RAM, and runs off Linux, making it compatible with Windows, Apple, and Google devices. Once a keyboard and screen have been attached, it's capable of writing programs usable on any computer, and even has internet access via an Ethernet port.
The technophiles among you are no doubt foaming at the mouth right now.
